TR 446 - Where Have All the Good Men Gone?
In defense of being a man and what it actually takes to restore the balance of power.
There has been something brewing in the back of my mind for quite some time. It’s been stimulated partly by a recent conversation with my wife, partly from observing current trends in parenting, and partly from the tsunami of political chaos that seems to be crashing upon the shores of our consciousness each and every day.
At first glance, one might not see the immediate connection between husband-wife dynamics, parent-child dynamics, and public-government dynamics. But if you roll those relationships around long enough, something substantive and special emerges.
To put it in a few simple words: I’m talking about the gift of masculinity.
It is good to be a man. Being a man is good. It is good and necessary, and today I’m going to take a shot at explaining why that is. I want to start off with a brief analysis of husband-wife dynamics, as recently played out within my own home.
Right up front, readers and listeners should know that my wife is my best friend, she’s my editor-in-chief, and she will definitely be reading these words—which rules out any macho chess-pounding embellishments (you know, the kind that may occasionally slip out when men are talking with men). This report is intended for all audiences.
I believe that the role of men has been very intentionally marginalized. Men have been emasculated, portrayed as brutish and dumb, chastised for being insensitive, fed foods that lower testosterone, and generally had their masculinity debased and eroded for decades. Obviously such a coordinated and concerted attack hasn’t been by accident.
The emotional story.
As it happened, my teenage daughter was recently having an “emotional” day, as often happens with teenage daughters. Mom was quick to emote sympathy and the conversation was quickly devolving into a pity-party that was only reinforcing an unjustified emotional reaction to circumstances that required no sympathy whatsoever.
I listened intently for a moment. It was agonizing, but necessary to understand what had happened and all the dynamics at play. All at once, I slapped my hand down on the table and boorishly asserted, “STOP. Enough is enough.”
It was startling. Some would probably say I was being mean or rude, insensitive or obtuse—however, nothing could be further from the truth. I was simply being a man.
I was being a dad, and in that moment it was crystal clear to me that this gushing sympathy and emotional pity-party was not what was best for my daughter, or my wife.
I had to interrupt the emotion, and I did. Negative emotion feeds negative emotion, and in this particular instance, that’s all that was happening. That doesn’t help anyone, it doesn’t facilitate learning, and it does nothing for emotional well-being.
The conversation that ensued was sincere. It was a heart-to-heart with my daughter about the nature of things, about the way life is, about how life’s not fair and how no one really cares about your feelings—except mom and dad course.
To be clear, I can be as tender and compassionate as any mother could be. I have a high EQ, I’m not afraid of emotion, nor am I out of touch with other people’s feelings, least of all my own. BUT, I also understand that “feelings” are not the most important thing. I understand that feelings are fickle, fleeting, and very often misleading.
If we do not learn to evaluate and control our emotions and feelings, and teach our children to do the same, our emotions and feelings will control us. This typically results in a rapid descent into an uncontrollable, often hysterical, emotional mess.
No one is happy when that happens.
One quick glance at society, and we can see this behavior on display everywhere.
The beauty in this story actually came when my wife and I were debriefing. She thanked me for being a good dad, for being the rock that helped ground the emotional situation into the unemotional logic of reality. She spoke of the flowing river of feminine emotions, and the metaphor of masculine energy acting as the river bank.
This metaphor applies to all areas of life.
The parenting priority.
Pretty much every parent that I’ve ever talked to has said they want what’s “best” for their kid. Ironically, in the vast majority of cases, the actions taken by parents in modern society produce the opposite results. Rather than rearing well-adjusted, emotionally balanced kids, they cater to the whims of the child, gush sympathy and justify childish emotions, and instill in their children the distorted expectation that the whole world revolves around their feelings.
That is completely incongruent with reality, and it has dire consequences for society.
Whenever you see a kid throwing a hysterical fit in the store, what is the most common response? “Oh honey, do you want this? Do you want that? Do you want this?” Most often the kid only responds with an escalating emotional outburst.
In reality, the immature child does not know what he or she really wants or needs.
It is foolish to think that offering a screaming brat some candy to save face in a public place is solving anything. This is not the way the world works, and thus, this is teaching the child, wrongly, that by throwing a fit they can get anything they want.
Again, the kid really doesn’t know what they want.
What they want is structure. They want boundaries. They want predictability.
These are the prerequisites for children to thrive. Structure and boundaries are part of the natural order of things. Throwing a fit and and getting your way are not. Still, underneath all of this, beneath the surface level emotions, is a young heart crying out, seeking order amidst the chaos.
This is the budding of a young spirit seeking truth, sorting out the way of things.
Now then, much like men have been under deliberate attack, so too has parental authority in general. Mom’s have been horribly dis-empowered, taught all sorts of garbage pop psychology, and trained to let their children run amok—as if this woke New Age parenting is superior or somehow in the best interest of their children.
Clearly it’s not, and this fact should be self-evident.
But, for the sake of brevity and to keep the focus on the importance of men, the worst aspect of this corruption of parenthood (which is driven by subversive Marxist ideology) is the disparaging of fathers. It’s pushing them out of the equation, as if “mother knows best” was some sort of unassailable truth. In fact, it’s a lie.
Yes, at times, a mother knows best. At times a man would be foolish to trample the sensitivities of a mom who’s tuned into her child—at times. But, per the fundamental laws of the universe, natural balance implies that at times it’s the father who knows what’s best, and the women would be wise to yield.
This holds true whether the mother agrees or not, and the opposite is just as true.
At the root of successful parenting is communication. This is the root of all successful relationships, and regardless of the specific dynamics, uncontrolled emotions will shutdown communication faster than anything. I hold this is as an irrefutable truth.
By failing to teach our children how to process and control their emotions, we have inadvertently set society on a collision course with reality. The result will inevitably be chaos, and we are witnessing this reality in society today. To bring balance and restore order, more good men must step up and be the fathers they were born to be.
We must be the rock and the river bank. Kind and gentle, but firm.
We must learn to “go with the flow” at times, but other times we must be the ones to unemotionally redirect the flow of energy toward positive and productive outcomes.
To restore order, we must balance the feminine with the masculine, within ourselves, within our homes, within our relationships, and within society at large.
It’s time to man up.
To say that American society is suffering from a lack of male energy may seem counter-intuitive, or perhaps even esoteric and strange. To the woke, that would sound like a blasphemous statement. In reality, as with my wife and daughter, it is precisely this masculine energy, this male presence, that brings peace and order.
If you don’t believe me, just ask them. Or ask any other well-adjusted family who benefits from having a strong, loving man who’s willing to step into the swirling storm of feelings, ground the emotion, cut the shit, and bring balance to power.
Emotions are powerful. That’s why they are so heavily exploited by the predatory ruling class. This is what is tearing society apart at the seams. Too many emotions, too little logic. Too much feeling and not enough thinking. Too much confusion, complaining, and complacency, not enough certainty, tenacity, and action.
As men, it’s time we man up.
We must stand strong in the storm. We must assert truth. We must restore balance by refusing to succumb to societal whims. No doubt you’ve heard it said:
“All it takes for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.”
The ugly truth is, there are fewer good men now than in generations past. Again, this is not by accident. As men, we must be aware of what’s eroding our masculine energy. There are many, many factors, but in simplest form, we need only to re-embrace our role as men. We must confront our fears of emotional backlash, of being called brutes, of being labeled a toxic male, of being mocked for the very nature of being a man.
Man up. Who gives a rats ass what anyone thinks? You are a free and independent being, are your not? You have the power of choice. You have confidence, clarity, and conviction. You know the right thing to do. Don’t be afraid to do it.
The world needs you.
Are you called to be a husband or father?
Man up. Be strong. Be kind. Be a leader, for your children if you have any, and for your wife, if you’re lucky enough to find a woman who will put up with you. Your strength in this role is the very foundation of society.
Are you called to be a businessman or an entrepreneur? Are you called to be a craftsman, a technician, a rancher, a preacher, a professional, or just an average hard-working peasant? Man up. Be strong. Be kind.
Do your job well and you will feel proud.
Be a leader, for yourself, for your business, for your crew, for your office, for your cows, or for whatever role you find yourself in. As a man, this is your place. Lead by example. This will go a long way toward restoring balance in society.
But in closing, there is one more role that must be mentioned, else I be remiss:
Are you called to be a warrior? Were you born to fight? Do you burn for justice? Do you yearn for freedom? Do you have an innate desire to slay demons and cast off tyrants? Now is the time to be brave. Be bold. Be wise.
Right now the world needs good men to step up and fulfill these roles. If we fail in our duty to do so, our women, children, and loved ones will suffer immensely. Society will suffer. Humanity will suffer—and it will continue to suffer until the good men rise up.
Where have all the good men gone? Maybe they haven’t gone anywhere. Maybe they’ve just forgot. Maybe they just need a reminder that it’s okay to be a man—and now is the time to stand up and be counted.